


I'm not Who I Used to Be

by OceannanotOceania



Series: Beacon Ball Trilogy [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love, now on both sides of the equation hA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 19:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2320898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceannanotOceania/pseuds/OceannanotOceania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sun is reminded of how little he knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not Who I Used to Be

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of a sequel to [I Need You So Much Closer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2278011), so it might be a good idea to read that fic first. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if you haven't read that fic, so do as you see fit. :3

_Sun flops onto his bed, letting out a sigh as his head sinks into the pillow. His eyes flicker to Neptune, who’s still standing near the front door, placing his weapon in a stand near the door. Sun lets out a sigh._

_“Didn’t expect that you’d be able to kick my ass so hard.”_

_Neptune snorts. “I don’t always end up getting beaten by everyone.”_

_Sun shrugs. “Guess I’m used to it.”_

_Neptune looks over to Sun. “Wow, thanks.”_

_Sun smirks, putting his hands behind his head as he lays further into the bed, his tail idly wagging._

_Sun glances around the room. “Where’s Sage and Scarlet?”_

_Neptune raises an eyebrow. “You think I know?” He glances back at his weapon before walking to his bed. He sits on the edge of it. “Probably still sparring.”_

_“You sure they aren’t doing anything else?” Sun waggles his eyebrows._

_Neptune rolls his eyes. “You think I’d know something like that?”_

_Sun shrugs. “They’re close, but, they’re not **that** close, right?”_

_Neptune’s eyes flicker away from Sun. “N-no, probably not.”_

_Sun raises an eyebrow at Neptune’s sudden stiffness, but soon brushes it off, letting out a yawn. He moves onto his right side, looking over to Neptune, who’s moved so that he’s sitting in his bed, his back against the wall so that he’s facing away from Sun._

_“Man, I’m exhausted,” Sun lets out another yawn. “Think I’m gonna go to sleep.”_

_Neptune looks over to Sun. “Dude, it’s only eight.”_

_“So? I’m tired.”_

_“You gonna change out of those clothes?”_

_Sun glances at the white button up he’s wearing, the shirt starting to look more off-white than the pure white it normally looks like. He shrugs._

_“It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”_

_Neptune rolls his eyes. “Dude, at least take off your shoes.”_

_Sun looks down to his shoes. Oh, right, he still had those on._

_Sun toes off the shoes, watching them fall to the floor. Neptune lets out a small groan. Sun looks over to Neptune._

_“Right.” Sun lets out a yawn. “I’ll see you in the morning.”_

_“Yup.”_

_“Tell Sage and Scarlet to actually come back at a decent time in the future when they get back.” Sun’s words become more obscured by a yawn._

_Neptune snickers, nodding his head. “Yeah man, I will.”_

_Sun sits up briefly, pulling the blanket up and wrapping it around himself before he lies back in the bed. He falls asleep practically as soon as his head hits the pillow._

~

_Sun stirs in his sleep, letting out a small sigh as he turns back to his right side. He barely opens his eyes._

_It’s obviously blurry, both because Sun feels like he can’t open his eyes, and because he’s incredibly groggy, but he sees Scarlet sat on the edge of Neptune’s bed, Neptune a few feet away from him._

_“Wh-what if he decides not to be friends with me anymore because of it?” The voice sounds faint, feeling like it’s farther away than it should be, but it kind of sounds like Neptune is speaking._

_“He won’t do something like that.”_

_Scarlet?_

_“You know that he couldn’t do that. He cares about you, Neptune, even if it’s not the same way you care about him.”_

_The words sound further and further away with time, and soon Sun feels sleep grip at his senses. Sun gives up on trying to concentrate, allowing sleep to overtake him once more-_

“Sun?” Neptune asked, an eyebrow raised.

Sun shook his head, wondering why he had been thinking about such a random event. He looked up at Neptune from where Sun’s lying in bed, his arms behind his head, his head against the pillow.

“Wh-what?”

“Dude, you’re gonna want to get ready if you’re still going to the ball.” Neptune was leaning towards Sun’s bed, clad in a white undershirt and black dress pants, a whitebutton-down shirt and black tuxedo jacket draped over one arm. Neptune’s hair was plastered to one side of his head, on the verge of having water drip off of it.

Sun glanced towards the clock above the front door.

Crap.

Sun sat straight up, his eyes flickering around the room. Crap, crap, crap, where were his dress clothes?

Neptune tsked, rolling his eyes. “Dude, I put your clothes in the bathroom. Go hurry and get yourself ready, I need to finish a few things in there.”

Sun grinned. “Thanks, Neptune.”

Neptune smiled. “No prob.”

~

Sun glared down at the tie he was so desperately trying to tie, about ready to burn the damn piece of fabric. He groaned.

“Neptune, you wanna help me here?” Sun called towards the open bathroom door.

Neptune came into the room, his hair looking more like its normal, styled self. Sun frowned as he saw Neptune bite at his lip, and continued to fidget with the tie around his neck.

“Geez man, any reason you can’t ask Sage or Scarlet?”

Sun rolled his eyes. “I can’t find them anywhere.”

Sun continued to fidget with the tie, promptly realizing that he was indeed about three seconds away from completely tangling his fingers in the stupid piece of fabric.

Neptune snickered, gesturing for Sun to move his hands away. Sun untangled his hands from the stupid tie, furrowing his brow at how Neptune continued to snicker.

“Wow, you’ve made a complete mess of this, haven’t you?”

Sun groaned, a frown on his face. “Remember the whole raised in Vacuo thing? I’m not exactly used to stuff like this.”

Neptune chuckled. “True.”

Sun looked down, watching how Neptune untangled the mess on Sun’s neck with ease. He couldn’t help but be surprised by how quickly the damn thing had been untied.

Neptune paused briefly before he started to tie the tie. Sun stared down at Neptune’s hands, half-heartedly watching Neptune slowly and meticulously tie the piece of fabric into a more normal shape. Sun raised an eyebrow as he saw how Neptune’s hands shook as he tied the tie. Sun’s eyes flickered up to Neptune.

Neptune was incredibly fixated on the task in front of him, a faint flush on his face. It was then that it set in Sun’s mind that at some point, their breathing had perfectly synced up. Sun looked away, feeling his own flush.

Why the hell did he feel flustered?

Neptune backed away from Sun, and Sun blinked a few times, realizing that he wasn’t feeling the tug of fabric on his neck anymore. Sun glanced down at his chest, eyes widening slightly when he saw the impeccable tie that now sat on his chest.

“Thanks man.”

Without even thinking, Sun’s hands flew back up to his neck, already starting to fumble with the tie that suddenly felt like it was suffocating him.

“No, dude, don’t mess up my hard work.”

Sun’s hands fell away from his tie, and his tail started to move stiffly as he still felt the tie tight on his neck. “Ye-Yeah, sorry.”

Neptune rolled his eyes. “You’re going to meet up with Blake soon, right?”

Sun was fidgeting with his gauntlets, his hands promptly falling. His eyes widened.

“Oh, crap.”

Sun glanced around the room, his eyes landing on the clock hung above the front door. “Yeah, I need to go now.”

Sun ran straight to the front door. He paused, glancing back to Neptune, who had a strange look on his face.

“I’ll see you at the dance, right?”

The look disappeared on Neptune’s face, replaced with a hesitant smile as he rubbed at the back of his head. “Yeah, I’ll, I’ll be there.”

Sun grinned. “Sweet.”

Sun opened the door wider, and closed the door behind him. He wandered down the hallway, heading towards the stairwell to the left of his dorm room that led to the exit of the dorm building.

Neptune had been acting weird lately. Sun hasn’t been able to actually place what exactly was going on in the man’s mind, but he knew that something was off. Within the last couple of weeks, around when his team had arrived in Beacon, he’d catch Neptune staring at him with the strangest look on his face, something that was almost... affectionate. Regardless, it was an expression that Sun had hardly seen on Neptune’s face before.

Sun has been friends with Neptune for practically a whole lifetime, though Neptune would argue that being friends from the age of five couldn’t necessarily be considered a lifetime. It took little time for them to become close friends, and even through the shit that the pair had faced as they went through their training academy, they remained as close, if not closer, than they had been previously. And while the pair had always been relatively affectionate, it seemed different this time. Something a bit more profound than the care shown between friends.

Sun felt like the tie had somehow tightened around his neck, even more so than it had previously. Sun scowled, hands flying up to the tie.

Sorry Neptune.

“Stupid, dumb, neck trap!” Sun spat out, trying to remember how Neptune had done up the tie so that he could undo it easier.

“I knew you’d look better with a tie.”

Sun stopped walking, his hands falling away from the tie as he looked over to where the voice had come from.

Oh.

Wow.

Blake was stood with her hands held in front of her, clad in a purple dress with black mesh short sleeves, the skirt hanging just above her knees. Her hair was pulled back in a dark blue bow, and purple eyeshadow was swept along her eyes. She walked forward, and it took Sun a moment to realize that she’d put her arm in the crook of Sun’s own. Sun paused, then started walking along with Blake.

“Sooo, does this mean we’re going together?”

“Technically, though my first dance is spoken for.” Blake replied, a small smile on her face.

~

Sun didn’t realize exactly how _fun_ some stuffy event like this would be with Blake by his side. The pair were in the midst of waltzing along the dancefloor, and though Sun knew that there was a lot going on beyond them, everything he could feel and hear converged on just dancing with Blake, and the frankly beautiful smile she’d get on her face when she started to laugh. In the end, Sun couldn’t help but mirror Blake’s own grin, starting to laugh along with her.

Sun saw a splash of blue in the corner of his eye, brushing off the sight before he heard someone clear their throat. Sun and Blake paused, Sun turned towards the source of the noise, his brow furrowed. The confusion on his face soon cleared when he saw who was standing in front of him and Blake.

“Neptune!” Sun exclaimed, a smile coming back onto his face. “Dude, I didn’t think you were gonna make it.”

Neptune let out a stiff chuckle. “Yeah I, I ran into Scarlet and was trying to drag him over here.” He glanced around the ballroom. “I’m not too sure where he went now, though.”

Neptune bit at his lip, and Sun couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “So Blake, how would you feel if I stole your dance partner for a bit?”

Sun’s eyes flickered to Blake, who was blinking repeatedly, a confused look on her face. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”

Sun shook his head, turning back to face Blake. He let go of Blake’s hands, and bowed to her, watching Blake back away. Blake gave a small wave, and Sun flashed a smile before waving back.

Sun turned back to Neptune, and held his hands up. Neptune glanced down at Sun’s outstretched hands, before Neptune lifted up a hand and started rubbing at the back of his neck.

“So, how are we doing this?”

Neptune eyes flickered up from Sun’s hands to look at Sun’s face, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Uh,” Neptune walked up to Sun, briefly pausing before he grabbed one of Sun’s hands, and placed it on his waist. “I guess like this.”

Neptune placed his hand on Sun’s left shoulder, and paused before he grabbed Sun’s free hand. Sun couldn’t help notice the slight tremors in Neptune’s hand. Sun looked up at Neptune when he heard a new song start to play, letting out a breath before he moved one of his feet back.

It was incredibly awkward at first. In addition to the contradictory rhythms the pair had, Sun couldn’t quite tell who exactly was trying to do what role. But despite all that fumbling, it only took two or three songs for Sun and Neptune to finally figure out exactly what they were doing, and with that, ultimately synced up perfectly.

Sun felt Neptune relax, his grip on Sun’s hand lessening somewhat, and Sun let out a small breath, relaxing in response.

“I think we’re the only dudes dancing together here.” Sun said, promptly wondering why he had broken the comfortable silence between them.

“Nah, I saw some guys dancing together near the back of the dancefloor.”

Sun snickered.

The pair fell silent, and soon the idle chatter around them became nothing more than faint white noise. Sun looked up to Neptune.

Sun didn’t know what spurred it, but suddenly, he felt that same strange sensation from earlier, back when he was dancing with Blake. The other things around him seemed to fade away, everything Sun could feel converging onto Neptune. But, this was different. It wasn’t like with Blake, where he only felt this once she had started laughing, once that beautiful smile graced her face. No, just, being here with Neptune made that feeling from earlier bubble up in his chest.

Neptune looked down at Sun, a strange expression on his face before he bit his lip. “Sun-”

“Mind if I cut in?”

Sun looked over to the voice, seeing Blake stood in front of him, a small smile on her face. Sun felt Neptune’s grip on his hand loosen.

"Er, yeah." Neptune said, turning back to Sun.

Sun shook his head, looking away from Blake and turning back to Neptune. The pair let go of each other's hands, and bowed to each other. Neptune's eyes flickered to Blake, his eyes widening. Sun couldn't help furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

"I'll see you guys later, then?"

"You're not leaving, are you?" Sun asked, feeling like his tone sounded abnormally desperate.

"I'll probably stay." Neptune replied. "I might just wander around here a bit."

"Goodbye then." Blake said.

Sun flashed a smile. Neptune returned the smile before walking away from Sun and Blake. Sun watched Neptune walk away, before his eyes flickered back to Blake.

“You okay?” Blake asked, concern in her expression.

“Y-Yeah.” Sun replied, blinking a few times. “I’m fine.”

A strange look was briefly on Blake’s face before she grabbed Sun’s hand, and placed her hand on Sun’s shoulder. Sun placed his hand on Blake’s waist. Slowly, they started dancing, falling back into a comfortable rhythm.

“You sure you’re okay?” Blake asked again.

Sun smiled. “Yeah.”

~

“Sun?” Blake asked.

Sun shook his head, looking over to Blake. “Sorry, it’s just, Neptune...”

Blake looked over to the man who was sat alone at one of the white tables, looking around the room with a strange look on his face. Something like understanding was in her eyes.

Blake smirked. “Come on.” She let go of Sun’s shoulder before dragging him towards the tables.

Sun’s eyes widened, and stumbled for a moment before walking to keep up with Blake. When the pair were in front of Neptune, Blake let go of Sun’s hand.

“Neptune?” Sun said after a moment.

Neptune looked over to Sun, something like mortification in his eyes. “O-Oh, hey Sun, Blake.”

“You okay, man?” Sun asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Neptune’s eyes flickered away from Sun.

Sun’s looked to Blake. She frowned briefly.

“Would you be fine with us staying with you for a bit, Sun and I were getting kind of tired of dancing.” Blake said.

Neptune looked over to Blake. “Oh, yeah, yeah that’s fine.”

Sun looked over to Blake, a thankful look in his eyes. Blake flashed a small smile in response.

The trio ended up sitting in relative silence for a while, some sort of small talk being brought up on occasion before it quickly faded, lapsing back to a silence. Sun couldn’t tell exactly what kind of silence it was.

Sun leaned forward, his hands still grasping at the table behind him, his eyes squinting. “Wait, is that Jaune in a dress?”

Blake tilted her head, while Neptune raised an eyebrow, the pair trying to look where Sun was looking.

The crowd on the dance floor backed away as Jaune and his team took over the dance floor, bursting into some sort of synchronized dance. Everyone in the border started clapping, laughing to themselves as they did so. Some people started half-heartedly dancing, trying to mimic the moves of Jaune’s team.

“Holy crap that’s Jaune in a dress.” Sun said.

“I don’t think that’s the major thing at hand here.” Neptune replied before snickering.

Blake chuckled. Sun started laughing to himself, and heard Neptune join in a few seconds later.

Sun got up, walking far enough forward to see Jaune’s team still in the middle of dancing. Sun grinned, his foot tapping before he started clapping, dancing along to the song that was playing. He heard footsteps behind him, and glanced to both sides, seeing that Blake and Neptune had joined him. Sun grinned even wider, and it didn’t take long for him to start laughing again.

Sun looked over to Blake, a sincere smile on his face when he noticed Blake’s wide grin. He’d never get over that smile, would he?

The song came to an end, and Sun was lightly panting, his cheeks slightly sore from smiling.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” Sun turned to back to Neptune and Blake.

Neptune snickered, also panting slightly. “Y-Yeah.”

Sun turned to Blake, who had a small smile on her face. Blake’s eyes flickered over to Sun, and her smile widened, Sun feeling himself smile in return.

“I, uh-” Neptune cut himself off.

Sun turned to Neptune, seeing the man biting at his lip, a torn look in his eyes. Neptune walked away then, his steps getting quicker.

Sun’s eyes widened, and he quickly looked over to Blake, whose gaze flickered away from Neptune and back to Sun. Sun bit at his lip, looking back over to where Neptune was running before going after him, running a bit faster than he probably needed to.

"Neptune!" Sun called, watching the man run straight to the balcony, right up to the gray railing in front of them.

Neptune was panting, and he slowly turned to Sun. Neptune’s eyes widened.

Sun stood a few feet away from Neptune, panting lightly. "Neptune, what's going on?”

"It's, it's nothing, okay?" Neptune replied. "I'm just not feeling well."

"Yeah, I can see that," Sun said. "But it's not just that, is it?"

"Sun, please don't worry about it."

"No, Neptune, tell me what's going on-"

"I'm in love with you, okay?" Neptune yelled. His eyes widened, Neptune’s hand flying straight up to his mouth.

Sun's eyes widened.

Neptune was in love with him?

Neptune's eyes darted away from Sun. "I, you, you weren't supposed to know that."

"How long?" Sun asked, the words falling out of his mouth.

Neptune looked back to Sun, letting out a breath. "...Since the day I met you."

Sun bit at his lip.

Sun had always cared about Neptune. As soon as they became friends, Sun had grown to care about him, soon realizing how desperately he wanted to protect Neptune. But, that's what he always thought it'd been: just a profound caring for Neptune.

Then tonight happened.

There was the tie, and dancing with Neptune, and everything with Blake and just... So much happened, and now Sun had no idea how to feel.

Neptune looked away from Sun, biting at his lip, his expression screaming distress. Sun paused, his eyes briefly flickering away from Neptune before he started to open his mouth.

"Neptune-"

Neptune clenched and unclenched his fist. "I shouldn't, I, I need to go man." He paused. “I’m, I’m sorry, Sun.”

Neptune practically bolted away from Sun. Sun blinked, shaking his head before he ran after the man.

"Neptune!" Sun called.

His steps slowed as he saw Neptune run out the front door. Sun's eyes were wide and he felt his stomach lurch.

No.

 

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't know, I have a [Tumblr.](oceannanotoceania.tumblr.com) I've got school stuff going on still, but don't be afraid to throw a prompt my way. :3


End file.
